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Waiting to Die Wanting to LIVE

“Only my thoughts have power over me.”

Sick Young Woman Lying in BedShe lay in bed waiting to die, the most beautiful warm loving caring mother, wife, friend, partner and protector you could ever meet. She was riddle with cancer and while she lay there waiting to meet her maker, her thoughts continued to tortured her. Why couldn’t she heal herself and why had  the drugs and the many treatments not heal her. Why was her body working against her creating more tumours, pain and struggle. She said to me, ‘her god’  had said to her she didn’t need to meditate anymore. No need now, she said. She had decided she couldn’t fight anymore and so she had surrendered to the enviable out come of this terrible disease, the death of her physical body.

Her nightly dreams were filled with torment and panic. She said she would wake in the night, or in the morning not knowing if she was still dreaming or awake. In her nightmares she had so many things to do, she felt a constant pressure there was not enough time to get it all done. She had to do this for someone and do that for another. Fix this, make sure that was done, drive that person there, pick up that one. Change her life, eat right, think right, be right, get it right, do it the right way, and she felt she wasn’t getting any of it right. She was tormented with worry, stress, panic and a feeling of restraint. But in her waking life she was being looked after by many loving gentle and healing souls. She had no where to be and nothing to do except to look after her own well being. No more have too’s and no more assignments, just to surrender to the final result of her years of struggle with her physical reality..

She was surrounded by many beautiful healing souls looking after her in her days of illness. People sending her messages and thoughts of Love and good wishes. There was an out pouring of love surrounding her,  loving thoughts on her Facebook page and people sharing their beautiful thoughts of her on the phone, in letters and via friends and family close to her.

SO much love surrounded her in the dying days. Why didn’t  this Love help her or heal her broken body and help her feel better?

It was because her inner world was tormented, she felt only pain and failure. Even her meditations had become a chore instead of a experience to be enjoyed. It was another way she had failed herself. So came a precipice and she made a decision to surrendered to it all, she gave up, gave in and stopped eating as food made her sick, and allowed her spirit to leave her body. And with her decision to give in, give up and leave her body, she evoked the very vibration require to heal it.  She let go of the trying to make it happen and allowed life to create  what she had asked for.  A release from the pain and return to PEACE.

Her story speaks of our inner power and the lack of power other peoples thoughts have in our life. How others feel about us, be it positive or negative, has no power over how we feel about ourselves unless we let it. People can Love us or Hate us but we can only feel our own thoughts.

I have often said we can have hundreds pouring LOVE all over us, but if we do not LOVE ourselves or make peace with our thoughts, then we cannot feel Love.

WE ARE LOVE and we are all connected to an infinite loving intellectual presence who knows all we want and is orchestrating everything we could ever need to live well and to enjoy our time here, but in order to see this we first have to feel it.

We Must Think in a way that lines up with the truth of who we are and what is available to us. We have to LET GO of the worry and  the concerns for ourselves and for others. Worrying for others is NOT Love and can not help them, it only pinches us off from our own well being.

We have no where to go, nothing to do and no results we have to stive to achieve except to feel good and enjoy our physical creations.

This idea of  ‘Feeling Good’ is so important and something most people do not take seriously or even consider when it comes to the important things like striving to survive.

When we forget we have everything we need within us we panic and stress and strive to create something we think we need to have in order to enjoy our life. We spend the majority of our time trying to create something with our actions that we can create with a change in perspective in our thoughts and a turn around of our beliefs.

Many people spend the majority of time worrying about things we can’t or won’t change, other peoples thoughts about us, how to fix our problems, how others have hurt us in some way, why we can’t get it right, money money money..  how we don’t have enough of it to do the things we want to do to make us happy, and how we have to change ourselves in order to get more of it. And  did I mention the self criticism… This has to stop!

Our stressful and resistant thoughts are more poisonous than anything we could ever eat or do. Stressful and resistant thoughts do NOT manifest instantly but over time resistant thoughts pinch off our flow of Love and breakdown our bodies ability to cope with inner and outer stresses.

Worry is Like a wall holding back the flow of LOVE

So How important is chilling out, not sweating the small stuff, or the big stuff and letting go to the flow of Love that is available to us?

It is more important than life itself, because Life is LOVE and Stress is death. Death of our dreams death of our relationships and eventually death of ou bodies.

Do we do the activities in our lives because we need to get results in order to be HAPPY? Or do we DO because it feels good to do it? We Are Creators and we are trying to create what we want with our actions…. BUT we Create with our thoughts and beliefs and enjoy  our creations with our actions.

Didn’t we say we want to feel good because we want to enjoy are life? Well stressful thoughts DO NOT  feel good or enhance our lives and we have the power to change our mind!

The ONLY result we need ever desire or indeed achieve in life, is a feeling of reconnection to our source which is the feeling of LOVE..  This can only be achieved when we stop all our fussin and give ourselves our life back through SELF LOVE.

True Healing and a feeling Love comes from feeling the LOVE within us that we extend to ourselves first and then to others. We do this by finding loving, grateful, beautiful and adoring ideas and thoughts within us about who we are and why we are here..

Can We LOVE our disease?

Can we love our trauma?

Can we Love our problems?

Can we Love ourself when we have failed?

Can we Love the one who criticises us, who pisses us off, who throws their anger our way?

Can we Love the one who hurts us or another we love?

Can we see their pain as our own pain and find compassion and pardon for them?

Can we Love who we are, as we are?

Can we love what we do?

Can we love who we are becoming?

Can we love all of life with ALL it’s diversity?

Can we love our body as it is?

Can we love the fact that we are getting older and we too will one day decide to leave this physical life experience?

Sculptured pair

When the answer to these questions is an unquestioning YES!

Then we will KNOW we have affected our own Healing…

We CAN LOVE all of it, we can, we can because we are….

We are not here to over come anything. WE ARE HERE TO ENJOY this magnificent physical experience and to let life show us  how amazing we truly are.


KAren Swain

To receive a healing session which help you turn your stressful thoughts into LOVE, please see or session page




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