Taste the beauty of letting go
From Lesia in Sydney:
Here is now a little story I would like to share with you. In 2004 I decided to go back to full-time studying and in the first half of the year I felt I had to go back to Germany to visit my relatives. My mum was constantly on my mind. Maybe because I had started to study full time and thought I might not be able to see her alive anymore since she is getting older now. I thought about it almost every day. One morning after waking I couldn’t stop thinking about a dream I had the night before. I saw my brother in a black suit wearing a golden shirt and my sister-in-law with him wearing a light blue dress. My brother is not the type to wear anything like that in real life, because he loved his Hawaiian shirts. I called my mum and told her about this dream but mum didn’t react to it at all. A little while later I received a message from Germany that my brother has been taken to hospital and a tumour on his stomach was removed. It was cancer! He then had a rupture in his oesophagus and had to be in an induced coma for about 2 months. Meanwhile my travels were confirmed and when I arrived one month before Christmas, my brother had been out of the coma and was in a sanatorium for rehabilitation. I went to visit him there and when I looked into his eyes I saw he had been already on the other side.
He recovered and came back home. However, I realised he was no longer the strong person I had known all my life. I accepted that and prayed for him all the time. In February 2005 after my holidays I returned to Australia and this year in March my mum tried to contact me while I was out, she wanted to let me know that my brother was in hospital again. I somehow knew what the outcome was going to be. When I returned home that night I had my brother on my mind and talked to him quietly. I wanted to let him know whatever he decides he should do is okay. If he knows it’s time to leave then he should. I went to bed and couldn’t sleep immediately but finally fell into a good sleep only to be woken by the windows of my room going berserk. They were rattling and shattering and making such a noise even though there was no storm out there.
I knew it was my brother’s energy letting me know he was letting go of his time here on this earth. I acknowledged him and while I was drifting back into my sleep I felt the most magnificent sensation I had ever felt, twice. It was like nothing I had ever felt before, from the top of my head right down to the tips of my toes, I felt a feeling of lightness, as if a sheet was pulled lightly across my body and then lifted off. All the heaviness and burdens in my body and mind disappeared. What a gift, I know it was my dear brother allowing me to taste the beauty of letting go. Thank you so much, I love you dearly and may you rest in peace my brother and friend.
Always Lesia xox
Your strength is in me
From Janice McNamara:
Dear Karen, I am sending this on to you after meeting you today – regarding my mother Jean Shortland who passed away (very appropriately on 1 September 2007 the first day of spring)
Earlier this year I went to the Travel Agent and picked up various brochures on Canada etc. Probably about two weeks after doing some research I felt as if I wouldn’t be going on the trip. I felt my mother, who had been not so well over the past three years, may not last out the year. Just a feeling I had. As the year progressed this feeling became a much stronger inner knowing. Because I decided that I would not go overseas, to move my life on I have been attending various personal development courses.
Early Friday morning 31 August I had a call from the Nursing Home to say that my mother had a bad turn during the night and wasn’t well and that could I come down to see her. When I arrived, the Doctor said in his opinion she had a stroke and she wouldn’t have longer than 48 hours to live. By that time Mum had lapsed into unconsciousness.
Two hours later my brother and my daughter arrived and they went over and spoke to Mum – just then she regained consciousness and put her frail arms around my brother’s neck and then my daughter’s neck and pulled them to her and gave them a hug. She then said to my daughter that she didn’t think that she would see her again. Earlier on in the week my mother kept asking me was her grand daughter coming down to see her this weekend.
The family spent all day with my mother reflecting on her life and saying our good byes. Mum passed away peacefully in her sleep at 6.30am on Saturday morning the 1 st September the first day of spring.
When I think of my mother, joy and happiness colour the memories. Immediately, I see her smiling face with the lights in her eyes. My mother was always a happy soul and a shining light. What a gift! Her smile carries on in her grandson Michael.
Mum was always there for us – through the good and the not so good times. Somehow, Mum was always able to call on an inner strength to carry on and guide us through the most difficult of situations. Even though she never admitted to being a strong person – I am in awe of her courage, determination and the wonderful outlook she had on life.
Mum was always there to lend a helping hand to all her family and everyone she met. Mum lived for her family, children, grand children and of course her great-grandchildren.
I have learned so much from Mum and cultivated it into my life. I admired her ability to be on time, her organisation and financial skills, her pride in her home and cleanliness. Her love of laughter her ability to cope with the job in hand and get on with life was amazing.
The special thing I love about Mum is that even though she has experienced more than her share of hard knocks and many a situation that would daunt the strongest character, she never lost the ability to smile.
We love you Mum – May you move on to the next phase of your life with love and peace.
After Mums passing I felt completely at peace even though Mum had drawn her last breath I really didn’t feel that she was gone. Even though I can’t see my mother I feel her loving presence. I delivered the eulogy for Mum at her funeral and as I walked into the parlour I asked Mum if she would give me the strength to deliver the speech.
When I walked out the front to do this I felt overwhelmingly strong and delivered a warm and loving speech on my mothers life. Since I did this I have had this very strong presence where I feel that I can conquer all. My mother was a very special lady and I feel that she has now passed on her strength to me and her strength now lives on in me.
Janice McNamara; Jean Shortlands daughter
