Complaining is the path to self destruction.
I had a wonderful weekend with old friends, we partied, ate lots of great food and enjoyed being together, but I have to say the conversation, for the most part from many of them, was one of constant complaining. People seem to think that if they tell their friends or complain about what is going wrong in their life, it will all miraculously get better. I know most people, especially women, feel better when they air their grievances, or get it off their chest. But the misconception seems to be, by focusing on what is going wrong and telling others it will help the problems go away. When what really happens is, as they give their attention to their woes and concerns it attracts similar circumstances into their life. But not everyone wants to know this wisdom, it takes a special person to think in a way that looks after the well being of everyone, by not wanting to constantly complain about their lot in life and be right about their grievances.
I seem to spend a lot of time with my friends re-rooting the path of our conversation, steering them away from their anger, frustration, grievances and complaining, by telling jokes, appreciating the wonderful food, beautiful surroundings, smiles on the face of the children and reminding them that our kids are listening to everything we say and taking it all in as if it is the rules of life. One of the my friends young daughters said to us during their rants about the ex-husband; she knows she can have a great relationship with a husband, but only if you divorce him!
Another way to I like to change the mood of a depressing conversation is to ask people empowering questions like; what are you passionate about?
Most of us are middle aged now and the theme of much of the chatter seems to be about divorce, partner problems, financial distress or illness. Cancer topping the ill health list at present. If only they knew what they were doing with their power to attract and create what they want. Two of my girl friends are dealing with a cancer diagnosis. One had a body reconstruction after the doctors cut out parts of her body a few years ago, another is just about to embark on a similar journey. This week she will go in for her second surgery. The prognosis from the doctors is not optimistic, but, she is.
I want to help sooth them, to tell them what I know. I want them to know it will all be ok and they have the power to change any diagnosis the doctors can throw at them. I want them to know they can get better and heal rapidly when they allow well being to flow more into their life by changing the limiting and negative belief patterns that have suppressed much of the well being that could have been lived. But I am not their teacher, therapist or guru, I am their friend, we went to school together and they do not hold the same opinions about life that I do. They do not know they have the power to change things, they feel victimised by life, discussing all the things that can go wrong in life and the different ways we can become ill. Genetics, poison in our foods, pesticides in the country, having too good of a time, (this is the one that really challenged me). Too much partying and late nights!
None of them seem to want to even consider they had a hand in what is happening in their life. Most people are ready to jump at the reasonability of creating the good things that happen, but not to sure about taking on the responsibility for the bad things that happen. And this greatly reduces your power to change things around. If you know you have attracted it, than you know you have the power to attract something else!
In my social life I offer the same wisdom I have come to know and understand through my intensive inquiry into life and my connection to my inner being. My intentions are well meaning as I hope to sooth them and help them reach their desire to feel better and get what they want. It is the same advice I would give to my paying clients, but often I am hit with a wall of resistance from some of my friends. Then I remember that this wisdom is to be given to those who seek it and not to be forced onto my friends just because I know it can change their lives for the better. We all have the freedom to believe and live whatever we choose to, and this is what make life so fascinating and delicious. I may not reach them with my reminders, but I may reach you.
What is so interesting to me is that some people would much rather be right about their discomfort than listen to ways to make peace with the ex-partner or illness or the angry boss, business partner or family member, and receive the life they want. For the most part they do not want to know about being the first one to back down in the argument or to see their life threatening illness as a reason why they can change their life for the better. Even if this change in attitude would give them want they have always dreamed of.
“I have to fight this disease and it is going to be an ugly ride. I am going to get a lot sicker before I get better. The medical treatment will make my hair fall out, make me very nauseous and I have to stop doing all the things I like in order to get well. I do not want to hear you tell me I am going to be alright or to make peace with what I have to go through.” I want to be right about how horrible all this is and I want sympathy from the people around me so I can justify the horrible way I feel.” or “Don’t you understand these people who are fighting me are insane, evil or stupid, and I have to fight back with all my might”.
That may be true but you CAN see them in a different light, as someone, like you, who wants to live well and feel good but they do not know how to, and as you change your point of view about them you can change the experience you have with them.
“OH no I won’t because these people are crazy and they will not listen to me or commonsense. These people have to be treated like this because they are insane and they will never change.”
Complaining about your woes is like little by little chipping away at the health of your body, not to mention attracting more of what you are complaining about into your life.
Some people, who keep getting the same results from their righteous attitude, do choose to look at life differently, they seek out a better way of thinking and being. I believe everyone on the planet wants to feel good, and making peace with bad situations is the best way to do this.
My passion is to get this message of Well Being out to the people who are attracted to this work and for you all to be powerful examples of what I am talking about. I want you to thrive and then to tell others how you did it. How you received what you wanted easily and effortlessly by listening to your guidance, focusing in a good feeling way and not complaining about what you did or didn’t have in your life.
I am not asking you to ignore the things in your life you do not want. How can you ignore an illness or an angry ex-partner who is suing you, or the lack of what you want? You can Not ignore it, but you can look at it in a way that feels better. You CAN see the gift it is presenting, YOU CAN view your life from a different perspective and move up the emotional scale in regards the subject at hand.
What I have come to understand is the BEST way to teach or tell anyone anything is to live it. When others see you have overcome adversity and receive the life you want, they will ask you how you did it, and you will remind them..
“I allowed this situation to show me things about myself I was blind to before, like how much time I wasted complaining about things I had no control over when I could have been out there living the life I want. How I spent far too much time worrying over all the little details of my life, how it was going to happen, who was going to help me, how am I going to find this and that and what IF it all went wrong?”
“Now I know life is to be lived and enjoyed, and the universe is taking care of the details for me because the universe adores me and wants to see me play and have fun discovering my genius.”
Thank you for choosing to receive the Reminders from Home messages. They are not for everyone because not everyone can take on the enormous responsibility that comes with being a powerful deliberate creator.
I know this journey of physical life is one filled with challenges that asks us again and again to refocus and choose a better feeling thought. But that is the thrill of the ride and the challenge we have all given to ourselves by opting to have a physical life experience.
Have fun living it… KAren Swan